Don’t You Think You Look Tiny? A Psychological Look Into the Female Brain (Sorta)

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I had an interesting conversation with one of our female clients the other day.  No, it had nothing to do with why women have such an affinity for Grey’s Anatomy; or better yet, why women tend to do that weird squinty thing with their face when applying mascara.  Seriously, I don’t get it.  In actuality, it had everything to do with a conversation she (Chris) had with an acquaintance of hers (another woman) a few days ago.

A little back story first, however.  Chris started training with us about a year and a half ago.  Ironically, she never knew Cressey Performance existed – despite literally living a hop-skip-and-jump away – until one Mr. and Mrs. Eric Cressey moved in across the street from her.  After making nicey-nice and presumably borrowing a few cups of sugar from one another, Eric and his wife (Anna) eventually talked Chris into stopping by the facility to check it out.

Like I said, it’s right across the street.

A long-time fitness enthusiast – having been an avid biker for years as well as having hired numerous personal trainers in the past – Chris reluctantly showed up.

I did her initial assessment, and to say she was a little overwhelmed and little out of her element would be an understatement.   First off, I don’t think she had ever stepped foot in a facility where there were more squat racks than treadmills.  Secondly, it didn’t help matters that there were a bunch of dudes walking around lifting weights with chains attached and stuff, pushing sleds, throwing med balls, grunting, and doing manly things like re-enacting the This is Sparta Kick.

Then, to top it off, here was this big, beefy, obviously way intelligent guy (my words, not hers) telling her that she should nix all the steady state cardio she had been performing for years on end, drop the pink dumbbells, and start training with some intensity and purpose.  In short, I told her she would essentially have to do a complete 180 in terms of how she trained.

I remember it vividly.  “Give me three months,” I said.   “Do what I say for three months, give it your all, and if you don’t see a change in your body, you can punch me in the face…..like, really hard.”

She was down with that.

…….and she did it (not punch me in the face, though.  She just did what I told her to do).  And has never looked back since.

I know my friend, Nia Shanks, will nod her head in agreement when I say this, but a funny (albeit predictable) thing happened with Chris.  Once she started training at the facility and I started stressing to her the importance of getting stronger and how she shouldn’t equate “success” or even progress by what the scale told her, good things started to happen.

Once Chris started noticing incremental improvements in the amount of weight she was lifting, and proved to herself that she could do it, it was like a switch was turned on.

In a way, she was addicted to getting stronger.  Every week she would come in and want to put more weight on the deadlift bar, try to eek out one more rep on the bench press, or try to push the Prowler with just a little more gusto.  And you know what?  She got leaner!

She had done every fad diet, tried every fitness gimmick, hired numerous trainers, and none of them could trump simply telling her to knock it off, put down the yoga mat, and focus on getting stronger.

Sure, we had to make some dietary changes here and there, toss in some metabolic ass-kickery from time to time, but really, she just needed to take a step outside her comfort zone and lift heavy shit.

And, to her credit, ever since, she’s accomplished every goal she’s set out to do.

Deadlift her body weight for reps?  Check (and then some).

Perform an unassisted chin-up?  Check (and then some).

Be able to fit back into her “butt jeans”?  Ladies, you know what I’m talking about.  Check (yeah baby!!!!!).

Which brings us to that conversation I alluded to above.  The abbreviated version is this:  the woman, whom Chris hadn’t seen in a while, and after a few minutes of casual talk, basically came straight out and said this:

Don’t you think you look tiny?

As if, in her own backhanded way, to imply Chris didn’t look normal or somehow unhealthy.

I think Chris would have arm wrestled her right there to prove a point, but she didn’t.

Now, comparatively speaking, given that a vast number of Americans are walking around looking rather rotund (to put it lightly), I guess one’s perspective of what looks “normal” is a little skewed.  I’ll give her the benefit of the doubt there.

But I don’t think that was the case.  I kind of think the comment – in a way – was a dis towards Chris.  Sort of like this acquaintance was a little jealous and was attempting to bring Chris down a peg or two.

All told, Chris has lost 20 (net) lbs and seemingly looks like a different person compared to when she first walked into the facility a year and a half ago.  But she’s NOT tiny.  She looks, well, normal.  At least to me, anyways.   She has shape.  She has contour.  She has freakin muscles!

Moreover, she’s worked her ass off to get the body she’s always wanted, and I kind of feel like this other woman was somehow intimidated – if that’s even the right word – by Chris.

I don’t know, maybe I’m reading a little too much into it, but I’d definitely be curious to hear from any other women who may be reading and get their thoughts on this.  So, what’s the dealo?  Am I off-base, or did I hit the nail on the head?

 

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Comments for This Entry

  • Jonathan Goodman

    Yep. I've had the same conversation over and over and over again. I've found that social persuasion is the best tool at my disposal so I make sure to keep lots of client testimonials from women who lift heavy-ass weights on hand at all times. In fact, I have a potential new client coming in tonight because her friend got crazy results with me and lifts heavy so she is willing to give it a shot!

    November 10, 2011 at 11:17 am | Reply to this comment

  • Cort the Sport

    The comment, "Don't you think you look tiny," can be interpreted as, "What a sellout you are, switching to the other side". Chris switched teams essentially, and the friend didn't like it. And this sounds awful but I think a segment of the population likes to comfort themselves thinking they are born into being "fit" or "not fit". It's easier to think that than to acknowledge that you are choosing NOT to the work and make the changes. It drives me crazy all the times I hear "I could never do what you do". It's just not true. It's a choice (well, lots of choices!)

    November 10, 2011 at 11:18 am | Reply to this comment

  • Cassie

    I think it is just that in our society women are always supposed to critique each other and find fault. It is set up like a competition. If you someone is too large then you need to acknowledge that (probably not out loud). If a woman is thin though then someone can feel perfectly fine making all sorts of snide comments about it because everyone wants to be thin so it is ok to ridicule thin people. I agree that she probably was a little intimidated and possibly a little jealous. I also agree that our view of skinny and healthy is pretty skewed. As a person that lost 65 lbs. (with still more to lose before becoming pregnant) I was told that I was so skinny all the time, except I wasn't. I was still overweight. Maybe I was a lot closer to being a healthy weight than I had been, but the fact of the matter was that I wasn't anywhere near skinny. People's view of weight is definitely skewed big time.

    November 10, 2011 at 11:50 am | Reply to this comment

    • Anonymous

      I always joke that guys can get into a fist fight, and ten minutes later they're hugging one another telling........"I love you, man." Women, on the other hand, can take too long in the bathroom, and they don't speak for two years.

      November 10, 2011 at 1:51 pm | Reply to this comment

  • J.B.

    "Frenemy" (alternately spelled "frienemy") is a portmanteau of "friend" and "enemy" that can refer to either an enemy disguised as a friend or to a partner who is simultaneously a competitor and rival. The term is used to describe personal, geopolitical, and commercial relationships both among individuals and groups or institutions.

    November 10, 2011 at 11:55 am | Reply to this comment

  • Mike A.

    Women in today's society are insane (I know I'm generalizing, I apologize ladies). I showed a female friend a video of Jen Comas Keck the other day, and she said that she was "thick in the middle". I nearly spit my coffee out and I wasn't even drinking any. Pure insanity. The media has done a fantastic job of messing with women's minds.

    November 10, 2011 at 11:57 am | Reply to this comment

  • Dana

    You know, I have had odd and conflicting experiences related to this, with my journey to getting stronger. In a year I've gone from zero (couldn't do anything in the gym - bench the bar, chin-up, push-up, nada) to weighted chin-ups, benching bodyweight, deadlifting double bodyweight and one-handed push-ups. It's hard to see any relevance in having lost 15 pounds because I've also lost inches in some places and gained in others. I get called "thin" and "skinny' by people who see me in my normal clothes, but then told I look "hard" and have "big legs" and am "jacked" by others when they see me in workout clothes. In the end, I have to pick my battles. Can I convince someone of the difference in skinny and lean? Probably not? Do I care if family members talk about my "big legs"? Not at all, because those big legs will help me get to a double bodyweight squat soon. But nearly every day I have an exchange with someone that leaves me scratching my head about all this.

    November 10, 2011 at 12:02 pm | Reply to this comment

  • R Smith

    @Tony: While I'm certainly NOT a woman, this is a conversation I have overhead way too many times. As harsh as it sounds, Cort the Sport is exactly right. It's basically their way of saying "I could never have the discipline to do that--but you did--and I hate you for it." And, Tony, don't be deceived, a very similar thing happens amongst men, who can develop a sincere disdain for others just because they don't look like a slouch. RS

    November 10, 2011 at 12:03 pm | Reply to this comment

  • Katie Dotson

    I have no idea what that girl was trying to say except to imply that you'll get HUGE if you keep lifting heavy weights. I mean for real? I think they honestly don't know what to make of girls lifting heavy things. I recently told a cardio-queen friend of mine all that I accomplished during EC's Maximum Strength program (I can actually do weighted pull ups now! and crazy awesome deadlifts and squats). ... Anyways.. she told me that if she knew what kind of program I was doing (heavy lifting) before I started, she would have tried to convince me not to do it! I told her I gained no weight and lost fat, and ATE MEAT while doing it. Long story short, she'll never convert but I'm a believer and feel great about myself and am working through Show and Go right now and love it! Here's to making more plates bang around in the gym ladies!!

    November 10, 2011 at 12:03 pm | Reply to this comment

  • Juliet

    I think you pretty much just hit the nail on the head. There's a lot of skew towards what is considered healthy these days. Last weekend I met some friends of a friend and I made some off hand joke about how some guy at the bar didn't look all that tough... just like some skinny guy. One of the girls, not meaning anything at all by it & half joking, said that she and I were just some skinny girls and in no position to talk. She doesn't know me and how, obviously, skinny is not what I strive for so I just joked it off, but my immediate response (internally) was to start throwing out deadlifting numbers HAH. On the other flip side of the coin, my doctor (who is no spring chicken, mind you) told me I was too lean when she saw me. When I told her my weight she told me I was pushing the heavy side of healthy. Clearly, there is a disconnect. These events really drove home the importance of focusing on performance for myself for sure.

    November 10, 2011 at 12:14 pm | Reply to this comment

  • PJ Striet

    As a facility owner and coach, I see this all the time. I have female clients who come in at the tail end of other female clients workouts and the minute we start their session, they are asking me either what they are doing to "look like that", what I'm doing differently with them to "look like that", criticize the other woman, or beat themselves up (sometimes it's a combination of all of these). I agree with others in this thread: the media, air brushed celebrity photos, old myths about female fitness and how females should train, general narcissism in our society, etc. etc. have all "f'd up" how women think about and see their own bodies and the bodies of other women. Leigh Peele did fascinating series of blog posts awhile back which hit on all of these issues. Many of you have probably already read it, but, if not, here's a link to part one: http://www.leighpeele.com/bulky-muscles-and-training-females-the-definition

    November 10, 2011 at 12:44 pm | Reply to this comment

  • Tasha Brown

    I dig when you write about chicks <---not sexist since I'm of the chick-ish persuasion. ;) I get the "tiny" remark all the time. The girl in me is flattered - the weight lifter in me is a little confused. :O

    November 10, 2011 at 2:21 pm | Reply to this comment

  • MC

    I had an friend whom I loved dearly, who is very overweight, hated her body and constantly complained. When I decided to stop bitching about how much I loathed shop changing rooms and hit the gym she clamed I was obsessed ( she was the one who couldnt stop talking about it) Over the years I've been training she's told me that I'm 'wasting away' and ' scrawny' one week and then 'bulking up' the next - she even got her boyfriend (who looks like a cheesestring) to chime in with his opinions on how I was going to 'end up looking like a trucker'. She constantly comments about how I have no breasts anymore when the only reason she has D cups is because she's clinically obese. I eat healthily with the odd danish etc, but that means I'm an anorexic, every time I eat in her presence she has to chime in with her ignorant opinions on nutrition ( and she's a doctor!). Every strength goal I was proud of, she could top 'if she tried' but, of course,her bulk is 'mainly muscle' so she wouldn't want to gain anymore by lifting anything. I am a single mum with a full time professional job and I get up to train at 5am so I can spend time with my child in the evenings...but she's 'far too busy' to train. Her constant, bitchy comments have caused me real hurt but I have never, ever hit back as her body is her business. The final straw came when I mentioned that I was going to train for a figure competition next year and she said " I'll disown you if you do...it's against MY PRINCIPLES" . Seven years of fremnity over

    November 10, 2011 at 2:48 pm | Reply to this comment

  • J.B.

    Seems to me people who have a good attitude about this stuff focus on doing or being: Tony is a great coach. EC deadlifts a metric ton. Nia/Dana/Juliet/Chris are great examples of hard work and heavy lifting. People with a crap attitude focus on looking or seeming: he seems like a jerk, her waist looks too thick. Mike Robertson put up a blog post today that smacks of the same disorder. Mike hit a 520 deadlift, it wasn't pretty, but it was solid. Most of us can't do pretty, and max effort. He had people picking nits because it looked a little rough. Which is frankly b.s. every other lift that mike posted was super clean, the guy knows good technique, and yet these superficial people are taking shots at him because they can. It's weak sauce. One of the things I admire about your blog audience is that your focus on being and doing is contagious. Focusing on the superficial is the easy path, and avoiding it is admirable.

    November 10, 2011 at 3:06 pm | Reply to this comment

  • Deb

    I have been olympic-style lifting for two years. I also do traditional powerlifting. I can deadlift well over my body weight for reps, pull-ups and fit into some pretty becoming pairs of pants (and shirts, I should add). I have a strong athletic build, I'd say. When I go to the gym, the girls in the weight room (literally windmilling 2lb weights around) will all get together, stare at me and snicker. Quite honestly, I'm putting it mildly when I say "I don't give a shit" -- because I know what it means. I scare the shit out of them, I'm strong, confident and more than a few men in the gym have approached me to either ask what I am doing or to "help me" lift up a 45lb plate. My roommate, who does not go to the gym and survives on Taco Bell value bags, said to me the other night while I was grilling some chicken and steaming some squash, "Your dinners are super boring." "I think they taste pretty good and they are healthy. I feel pretty good when I eat like this," was my reply. "No offense or anything but you work out so much that you look like a dude," she added, squirting hot sauce on a chalupa. Without going into her personal problems, which you have probably nailed down being in the fitness business and being a smart dude, all I can say is that it was the final straw. I have been listening to jabs about my physique for a long time (and coming from a girl that's 5'4", 215!) and I snapped. You'll be happy with my response: "My dinner looks boring? You know what's not boring? Screwing with the lights on because I have a great body AND a hot boyfriend." I don't think she saw it coming. I don't know how relevant it is, but I had to share.

    November 10, 2011 at 3:56 pm | Reply to this comment

  • Ammi

    This is unbelievably common. As Cassie says, it's very much the female way of competing. You will always critique the other women around you and consider how they look or behave against you - it provides a form of security blanket for you. Since you always want to feel positive about yourself you will find the point you can be critical about in the other woman. They're too fat, too thin, not eating enough, never stop eating, too loud and outgoing, too quiet... the list is endless, it's just that physical appearance is the easiest one to have a fast knee-jerk reaction to. I came to lifting from an unusual angle. I didn't appear to be fat (at 5'6" I was weighing in at 50kg so I really shouldn't have been) but I was actually a classic skinny-fat build. Back then I constantly got supposedly praising (but actually worded to often come across in a catty way that would make me feel insecure) about being "slender", "skinny", "too thin" etc. Over the last few years that I've been lifting I've actually gained weight (currently at about 56/57kg) without changing size too much - I've just been swapping fat for muscle, although my partner would probably note that my shape is much more rounded. However my legs in particular get larger when I go on an eating stint and am stressed at work so now, at 56kg I find I get comments from some people (including some female family members) about getting fat. These are comments from people who are actually several sizes larger than me and who used to tell me I looked too thin. Now I'm not stick-like thin and am clearly succeeding in my aim to have a healthy physique would feel better about themselves and their own lack of willpower if they also saw me fail. By undermining me into believing I'm getting fat already the battle is half-won - it can easily lead me into an "I don't care since I'm just getting fat anyway" mindset of eating and I find this is one of my biggest mental fights these days. Basically, to survive with any physique as a woman, whether catwalk-thin, healthy lifting, chubby or wildly obese you need a thick skin and deaf ears. Whatever your size or shape you will always get critical comments from the ones who don't look like you. The large women have it just as bad as us, just from a different group of people, and I have to be careful to make sure I'm not one of them. I try not to be too critical of large women, certainly not in earshot. It might be their choice.

    November 10, 2011 at 5:49 pm | Reply to this comment

  • aleph

    Confident happy women don't compare themselves to other women. Women who aren't comparing themselves to other women don't comment on other women. A woman who criticises another woman is just expressing how unhappy and insecure she is....

    November 10, 2011 at 5:56 pm | Reply to this comment

  • EC

    I read your blog often but have never commented, but since you asked... First off, the comment about Jen Comas Keck really disturbs me! That girl could only be so lucky to look and LIFT like her! I have had some rage the past week regarding this very topic. It has been fueled most by the website Pinterest - i encourage you to peruse the "health and fitness" tags. The point has been made here that the mainstream media, and consequently the minds of consuming females, is polluted with ass-backward images of what it means to be healthy. I, too, have made some great progress towards an improved physique and strength gains by - GASP - listening to a trained professional, picking up heavy things, and changing what i use as feul for my body. As a result, i have friends who state that i must be crazy for waking up every morning at 4:30 so i can get to the gym and get my strength training in before my 12 hour work day...the same friends who have awoken at 3:00am to get in a 17mile run before the heat of an Arizona summer renders them a/c bound. I'm the CRAZY one?? Until the message to women becomes one of health and not one of being "skinny" then i think this will always be a struggle for those of us who chose to pursue health through heavy lifting and the eating of real food, not 100 calorie packs of crap. I am so excited that a group of inspiring, feminine, healthy, bad ass females - specfically Girls Gone Strong - is actively purusing a change to the current mindset. Can't wait to see what's coming from them - i don't mean to plug on your blog, tony, but you have mentioned these ladies multiple times. I think we (strong women) have a voice, and hopefully they can help get it heard. A change needs to happen as clearly the ugly tracy anderson message has gone too far - really, physician, the heavy side of healthy?? I feel about that the way i felt about my doctor telling me to go on a "low fat diet" by only looking at a number on a scale and knowing nothing about my exercise/eating habits and true body fat percentage. Commence banging head against a wall now...

    November 10, 2011 at 7:42 pm | Reply to this comment

    • Anonymous

      EC - First off, thanks for reading! Secondly, thanks for finally peeking your head around the corner and commenting! Thirdly, you're awesome - keep doing what you're doing. Fourthly, plug away!!! Girls Gone Strong is a wonderful movement, and I can only hope it gains momentum as time passes.

      November 11, 2011 at 6:46 am | Reply to this comment

  • Gwen

    (internet fist bump) Amazing.....but yet we hear shit like this all the time, don't we ladies?!??! I know I have heard it numerous times and each time it gets a little more annoying than the time before. What is it going to take to get women to understand that weights are not scary!??!?!?! People tell me "oh, I don't got on "that" side of the gym" (meaning where the squats racks, etc are located). I wonder to myself WHY THE FUCK NOT?!??!?!?! I game muscle easily...I don't want to get big...I don't want to look manly....I don't want to be thick or gain weight..... All I really want to ask these women is do I look manly...or look thick...or heavy...or like a dude?!?!?? Nope...nada....no way. The answer here, sweet cheeks, is that if you want to rid yourself of those saddlebags that have permanently attached to your ass (which you blame on having kids) then step off the treadmill or out of the BODY PUMP class and go do some squats and deadlifts! For crying out loud just freaking do SOMETHING. Here I am, 19 weeks pregnant, and I am still training just as strong (for the most part). Just the other day I pulled a 215x4 deadlift (pre-pregnancy PR was 245x1). I've squatted 165x5. I do 3 sets of pullups to failure (usually about5). I do heavy db walking lunges. I push a sled. I flip a 300lb tire!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I commend any women out there who breaks free from this social stigma that perpetuates the "girls shouldn't be strong or have muscle" notion. Ridiculous.

    November 10, 2011 at 8:21 pm | Reply to this comment

  • Steve

    This is most assuredly jealousy ... take it from some one who see's Chris every week , and tells her how awesome she looks... her work ethic, her attitude and her transformation are nothing short of amazing ......

    November 11, 2011 at 9:44 am | Reply to this comment

  • Liz

    Hi Tony! So glad I landed on your blog via our mutual buddy Roman. As a female trainer my mission in life is to teach women to break up with their scales and hit the weights because muscles and strength are sexy. I love your approach "give me three months and if you don't see results you can punch me in the face." It is hard to get women to buy in and go against the conventions they've been used to for so many years...I love asking them how much they think I weigh, they always guess this small number like 100 lbs which I haven't weighed since I was like 12 and when I tell them I'm steadily rocking out 125-130 on a 5'3" body it usually clicks that lifting weights is not your enemy. To your concluding question-unfortunately as loving and nurturing as women can be, we can also be caddy and bitchy and it's often a manifestation of our own insecurities. It's an unbelievable feeling to finally love your body-but it scares the people around you, makes them feel guilty about their own habits and comes out via sh*tty comments like "don't you think you look tiny?" If you're ever really interested in diving into how the female brain works check out Louann Brizantine's book "The Female Brain"...it all makes sense :)

    November 11, 2011 at 10:02 am | Reply to this comment

  • John Leyva

    I love when my female clients get comments like that. My response is usually something to the effect of "check your source"...meaning I ask, "And what does THAT person look like?" Their response is usually, "Oh yeah...I would NEVER want to look like her." In a way there's a lot of "hatin" going around either way. There's women not lifting heavy weights and flabby, hatin' on the women who are strong and sleek. Whereas, there's the women lifting heavy weights hating on what they might become (flabby and weak). I think we all know what side of the hatin' equation the women should be on.

    November 11, 2011 at 12:38 pm | Reply to this comment

  • Caitlin

    I think other woman was defending herself, because Chris's very existence might make her take a deeper look at herself and face her personal issues. The overweight woman felt ashamed in Chris's presense. Here is a fit, healthy woman capable of leading and even appearing to lead (via her body) a healthy lifestyle. An overweight woman who does not lead a similar lifestyle believes that she is somehow defective and lacking in willpower, an idea that is re-enforced by the diet/fitness industry: "Just follow this eating and exercise plan." Dieter's response: "Why can't I just the follow the plan and lose weight like everybody else?! What's wrong with me?" And for the overweight woman, there is a lot at stake in believing that her relative health/fitness defecit is due to some personal lack or flaw. If she's broken or is otherwise a special exception to the laws of physics (slow metabolism, etc.), she doesn't have to take responsibility for being unhealthy, and thus can avoid exploring WHY she doesn't eat healthfully and exercise. She's avoiding something. And when a person in hiding encounters a person like Chris, her fascade becomes that much more obvious, and her issues bubble threatening close to the surface. Attacking Chris is a way of maintaining internal equilibrium.

    November 11, 2011 at 1:43 pm | Reply to this comment

  • Dan

    A coach gave me a great piece of advice recently: "Remember, what people think of you is none of your business." Life is much happier when following this pearl of wisdom.....

    November 11, 2011 at 4:09 pm | Reply to this comment

  • Sable@SquatLikeALady

    Okay so I didn't read all the comments. Sorry, I'm lazy. I am coming from the perspective of a female powerlifter, and I was anorexic for a while. "Tiny" is not usually intended as an insult when used to describe a woman. Obviously I don't know the tone this woman used (and, what is it, 80% of communication is nonverbal?) but in our society, for WOMEN, smallness=attractiveness. I have gotten MANY MANY comments on my physique over the almost two years I've been training and with one exception, the "you look so small!" comments were meant as compliments, whereas the "um you're getting reeeeeally muscular" ones were meant as insults. Strength in a female is threatening -- to other females, because it's unusual, and to insecure males, because it's emasculating. But smallness? Thinness? "Tiny"-ness? These are all "attractive" traits. So I kind of feel like this was probably just a poorly thought out and, um, stupid compliment. I get "you look so small" all the time because I *am* smaller than when I was fat OR skinny-fat. I'm just denser. ;-)

    November 12, 2011 at 5:34 pm | Reply to this comment

  • Jess

    Think you hit the nail on the head Tony! Think this all too common nature of women is what makes it so challenging for women to maintain their awesome results when they get there. When someone's overly fat it's often not considered PC to say anything. When they 'blend in' everyone's super supportive of them. When they beome the 'hot one' among their group of peers. they may feel excluded or suddenly have cake pushed in their face ...LOL. Comments about them not looking healthy, "do you still get your period?" or "but your SOOOO thin come on you can eat whatever you want!" (all feigning concern for health & enjoyment). Feel that when we women change our bodies the perceived pecking order changes. Some women will feel threatened & try to sabotage us. Some women will be AWESOME!!! I aim to spend more time with the awesome folk & avoid the downers. Would be great if more women would support one anothers successes of all varities - in my own experience it's only a few that genuinely will - the rest just bang on about what they can't do instead of focusing on what they can. Run away! Run away ...LOL.

    November 13, 2011 at 8:57 pm | Reply to this comment

  • Lauryn Cessar Sacha

    I definitely see this Tony. I've always been "skinny" and have worked hard to gain muscle mass while competing in triathlons the last few years. I would always receive compliments on my arms in particular. I could deadlift BW for reps, bench BW for reps, and do a few chin ups. After giving birth in July, everyone who sees me sees a thin girl who they think looks good (especially after "just" having a baby). But I know that even though the scale says I'm lighter than before I got pregnant, I'm less healthy because more of that weight is fat now. So I actually looked, felt, and was healthier when I weighed more! But our society as a whole only sees thin vs. thick and doesn't think about what makes up those pounds. I'm running a 5 miler on Thanksgiving, then its back to the weight room for me. I need to fix this, stat!

    November 14, 2011 at 2:34 pm | Reply to this comment

  • Kellie Davis

    This was by far the cleverest tactic to get a large group of women to talk to you, TG. Kudos! In all seriousness, I think this conversation should be held when we are in our 50's, 60's and even older. You know, when the strong chicks will still look age 25 and not have a single med to take? When will it stop being about the look and more about longevity and quality of life? Like Chris, I feel it's not the image we are caught up in-- I honestly could give a steamy bowl of kale whether i have big muscles. They just happen to Grow when I do something I really enjoy doing. It's the love of life and fulfillment we achieve each day that keeps us going. That hot chick winking back in the mirror is just a bonus.

    November 15, 2011 at 6:41 pm | Reply to this comment

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    [...] Surviving the Holiday Feeding Frenzy Why Inspiration Matters Be the Buffalo Science Getting Smarter Even as It Gets Stupider Pump Up the Volume: Christian Slater, Weightlifting, and Making Faster Progress Don’t You Think You Look Tiny? A Psychological Look Into the Female Brain (Sorta) [...]

    November 15, 2011 at 10:02 pm | Reply to this comment

  • Shared Wisdom: 11/19/11

    [...] Don’t You Think You Look Tiny? A Psychological Look Into the Female Brain (Tony Gentilcore) -- One girl gets fit.  Another girl makes snarky comments about it.  It is the way of things, sadly. [...]

    November 19, 2011 at 3:47 pm | Reply to this comment

  • Wednesday 14 December | CrossFit Impulse

    [...] look into the female brain (sorta) -Tony Gentilcore « Gymnastics Open Gym Tuesday @ 8:30 [...]

    December 13, 2011 at 6:02 pm | Reply to this comment

  • Great links for the weekend!

    [...] Gentilcore put up a random article that explores the way women undermine each other about their figures.  If you are starting to look good I’m sure you’ve experienced people [...]

    December 16, 2011 at 4:03 pm | Reply to this comment

  • chy12

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    April 28, 2012 at 12:23 am | Reply to this comment

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